Who would want to be an Airline CEO these days, every day you come into the office there is another major disaster, and coming from any angle you are prepared for and from places you never dreamed of.
Your faced with dwindling passenger numbers, scared off by prison like security checks, higher prices, bad weather, overcrowded airports, extra baggage charges, check-in equipment failures, Staff in warrior mode wanting more pay for less work, benefits, overstressed and you have to cut their numbers to keep your head just above the water, Airports always in redevelopment, shifting flights from gate to gate just to get your slot, getting in and then out on time, then they have the nerve to increase your already extortionist landing charges to the point of you choking badly on your coffee to pay for it all..
Air Traffic controllers so stressed out they either just walk away, go on strike or do themselves in, either jumping off the tower, or walking out onto a runway in front of a fully loaded 747..
Repairing your equipment is a pain too, your in-house engineers are short staffed and underpaid, OE (Original Equipment) parts are expensive and secondhand or reconditioned parts are well …..dangerous, So you send your equipment offshore, your $600 an hour consultant recommends it..sloppy work and you have no control on were your parts are sourced, but it is cheaper, remember your consultant said so..
Some of your planes are well past 25 years old, they creak, leak, some smell, some are cracking, you are taking tons of parts out of the older ones to keep the others flying, Pilots tell you they are “Flying Junk shithouses”, you say “they are original and reliable and solidly built!”.. and payed for.
Buy new?…3 year waiting list and to buy one new 737-500, you could have a fleet of 737-300’s but who wants those, they are thirsty, noisy and due for their expensive D Check, now.. Wall Street now goes into severe backwards meltdown, and your chances of getting any finance period is limited to replacing your engine starter cart..but only one, for now…sorry.
There is still that plane yard in Arizona?, but it is full of 25 year old planes just like the ones you now own.
Islamabad erupts, Hotel disappears with half of your passengers due to fly out next day, cancel Islamabad indefinitely.. No make that the whole of Pakistan indefinitely.
and then we get to your fuel problem?
Your hedged Aviation Fuel at 80c a barrel, lasted 3 months, but you put your Fuel surcharges up straight away to keep the cash coming in, but only to $1.20 a barrel, but it went too a $1.60 a barrel, and you are now going broke at 5 million dollars a day, so you hedge again at $1.30 a barrel and the price plummets to 70c a barrel, now you are going broke at 7 million dollars a day, were as only just 2 months ago you had a slight wonderful profit.
worse now your passenger numbers are freefalling, shareholders phone you daily (sometimes hourly) with their plummeting share price, A slight equipment fault is picked up in the media, then they highlight for weeks and weeks on end on national television every small problem you have from running out of paper cups to slight routine maintenance, and that airlines like you are the total major cause of covering the planet with every toxic gas discovered by man and some that are not, laying blame for irresponsible airlines for accelerating the global disaster, killing cows, crops, old people, young people, fish stocks and laying waste to once fertile lands like Libya, and in doing so brilliantly scaring off any of the very few passengers you still have left wanting to fly……
oh and Mrs Diana Hackford-James on Flight 342 in Seat 12A has lost her bag?
It’s in, Istanbul?……………Istanbul!
We don’t even fly to Istanbul!
Good Job those windows are double glazed, I tried though, I ran at them, but they didn’t break..Tomorrow will be better?……..A new day!, what else could happen…I am still insured for the unthinkable, Shit they too went bellyup with the Investment banks…..damn.
George W Bush, nah he’s got no job soon either, maybe he could get a job running an airline, being President couldn’t be harder than running an airline…could it?